More Life Lessons (Stress Management Pt. 2)

I'm having sushi for lunch tomorrow and tomorrow night is my turn to cook

darn it! i should have knocked on wood! as hard as i could!

Yes, you should just always be doing that.

keep doin that, mama cat

Why are you obsessed with rhymes?!

they pass the times!
so get in line
and say a rhyme


That is Michael's and my conversation. do you see

what i put up with?

(Excerpt from a conversation I had with Jessica tonight.)

So how often is it that you get to talk to two of your best friends who live nearly 2,000 miles away in one night? Yeah, not so often. But tonight I did! They were both on Facebook at the same time, and I was very happy to talk to them. I was simultaneously carrying on three Facebook conversations, texting three different people, and watching a WWII Doc on The History Channel.

I kept laughing because of things said in the Facebook conversations, but all my roommates saw was the WWII Documentary on T.V. I think they were marginally worried I saw a sadist until I explained why I was really laughing--and it certainly wasn't because of the documentary. I was mostly the poem above, how Michael wants Jessica to name her new VW Jetta Puddlesmacks, and how Michael will randomly show up in D.C. (most likely at the worst possible time like while we're at the pentagon or something) and get dragged off by the security guards while yelling "Fin!" with his free arm outstretched toward me. When my classmates ask if I know him of course I will respond, "No."

We had another amazing lesson in OB class today. We talked about what anger really is and the chemical processes behind it. It is literally possible to be angry for 2-3 days straight if you let yourself get so angry that your adrenaline starts pumping. I don't know about other people, but I can't handle the yucky feeling of being angry for days at a time. No thank you.

Just like stress, we learned it is possible to control anger. When you get that first little pop of anger (this is not adrenaline) you just have to let it go. Don't let it get to that stage where your body is producing anger-fueled adrenaline for days at a time!

We talked about how expressed anger and violence are merely a manifestation of need for control. We even watched a clip from Shindler's List about power.

Truly effective leaders lead by example with love and tolerance. When a king pardons a thief, he likely has created a loyal subject. When he kills the thief he just has a corpse.

(On a lighter note side bar--"And you think killing people will make them like you, but it just makes them dead." Is possibly my favorite quote from A Very Potter Musical said by You-Know-Who himself who incidentally is played by Ralph Fiennes in the movie who also happens to play Amon Goth in Shindler's list.)

Basically, as a leader you want your subordinates to follow you out of respect and love--not fear. Showing mercy and pardoning when someone does something wrong makes one a good leader. Amon Goth was unable to to see the power in mercy and forgiveness and simply continued on in the violence and punishment power he was used to. Needless to say it did not turn out well for him--not at all.

We also talked about how a lot of people shy away from power because they do not want it. We always hear how power corrupts and absolutely power corrupts absolutely. However, we have to learn how to exercise power in this life. God, our ultimate exemplar, is omnipotent. That is to say He is all powerful. If we want to become like him one day, we must have power and use it the right way or how will we ever be ready to assume a position of omnipotence?

Also, the person who said never let a sunset on an argument needs to be kicked in the teeth. Sometimes the best cure for an argument is to step away, calm down, and then rationally discuss the issue when the anger is gone. Trying to address an issue when you are still upset (and consequently irrational) nearly always ends badly.

Now I am certainly not a morning kind of person, but I will admit that things never seem so bad in the morning. Sometimes the best resolution to an argument is to sleep on it. The angry-I am right and you are wrong and that's the way it is mentality from the night before is gone. Chances are if you tried to duke it out when you are in this mentality (not to mention tired on top of it) the situation will only escalate.

Even though we might know all these techniques for coping with anger and stress sometimes things seem completely overwhelming nonetheless, and it is nearly impossible to discern any reason why things are the way they are. In those times, the best thing to do it put things into the eternal perspective. Remember who is really in control of things and put it in His hands.

Only here would I ever learn this in a graduate school organizational behavior class.

Stress Management

I am tired, oh so tired, right now. BUT I feel like I had one of those days where I just need to share what I learned.

The life lessons are just coming at me like whoa right now! It's pretty awesome. It makes me feel wise and mature and whatnot.

Today I learned about stress in my organization behavior class. I can explain to you how your eyes send not one but two signals to your brain. One for your brain to process what you're seeing and the other to your amygdala (yes I now know what an amygdala is) which is part of your emotional response center (limbic system). Basically, the point is that your body reacts to something before your brain really comprehends what is going on. Kind of cool huh?

I also learned our limbic system (emotions) are the first thing to develop after our brain stem. Everything we learn is connected to our emotions. Our frontal lobe (our rationality) does not even fully develop until we are in our 20s! So basically, humans are emotional beings. I suppose that means Bones (one of my favorite shows) is a fallacy, but I guess I'm ok with that.

Basically, we are all cavemen. When we encounter stress we react with our fight or flight gotta run away or kill the deadly saber-tooth tiger response. Our ancient survival instincts still kick in when we are stressed even though the situation is completely different these days. I don't remember the last time I was mauled by a tiger anyways! Instead we have a bombardment of low-grade stresses, but we still have the survival instinct reaction anyways. Stress is only a physical reaction to a (this is important) PERCEIVED loss of control. Rarely when we finally calm down and put things into perspective, was the situation even close to what our reaction was.

And (now this is scientifically proven people) stress makes you unhealthy! It makes you sick, dumb, irrational, achy, tense, etc. Dare I say that stress also makes you completely miserable (in my experience anyways).

Sometimes, as a graduate student I feel guilty about putting aside work I know I should be doing to have fun, exercise, cook, watch a movie, etc. However, today I learned that I need to get over that nonsense. I always knew it was good to set aside time for exercise and eating and the essentials, but I just can't help but beat myself up about doing something fun when I know there is so much school work to be done. Even during the fun I had this weekend, I always kept thinking in the back of my mind that I should be doing homework. But by golly wouldn't you know, my happy fun times were justified in class today.

As a matter of fact, when you are feeling the most stressed is the time when you most need to step away from the situation and gain some perspective. I need to remind myself that while school is important right now, it is not all there is. As a matter of fact, in the long run school is relatively unimportant.

So the point of this:

We can't avoid stress. BUT we can learn to deal with it. As a matter of fact, I think maybe part of our test in this life is to learn to control stress.

(I promise I'll try to think of something more fun to write about soon. Like perhaps how I left my phone on silent this morning and woke up at 7:45 and had to be at school at 8 or how despite the fact Zumba gives me a good workout I don't think I will ever be a good dancer :(, or how I thought I lost my iPod today, or how my team got reamed in front of the entire econ class and I almost lost it in classic Rachel the Big Mouth style, or how I got so upset on Sunday because someone started playing Christmas music that all I could do was stick a pillow over my face at someone else's apartment and be so miserable that I started cracking up and couldn't regain composure for a few minutes and how it was exacerbated by people putting more pillows on my face, or how I now laugh every time I hear the phrase golden arches, or how I booked a hostel 0.3 miles from where I'll be staying next week in D.C. for Saturday night before the rest of the group gets there and how they supposedly provide free walking tours, or how I'm really excited to go get Indian food with my friends from Africa on Thursday night, or how much I love the movie Despicable Me, or my rediscovered love of the Weepies, or how I get to see Anthony Green on Friday night, or how ridiculously excited I am to go home in just less than two weeks . . . well you get the point.)

But isn't life wonderful?!

Can't Go Back Now

This weekend was good. It was so good.

It was yet again another one of those weekends where you expect nothing much to happen, and then so much does happen. I end up realizing that life is actually pretty wonderful and I have friends that love me.

Pretty awesome stuff huh?

I would be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes when I'm in Provo I feel a bit cut off. I have no family here. My reliable, wonderful, go-to friends are just as far away as my family. I will also admit that making friends is not always the easiest thing for me to do. I think it's the awkward period where you almost feel like you're inviting yourself to stuff and you're not sure that you're wanted period that gets me. Sometimes I would rather just sit at home alone that subject myself to that.

Anyways, I digress.

On Friday I went to Park City . . . all by my lonesome. I drove through the canyon after finishing work and the day was gorgeous. I'm not much of a driver, but something about driving through the mountains on a sunny day with unusually warm weather for a November was pretty spectacular.

(I took this picture en route to PC, possibly a little dangerous but it was too beautiful outside to resist.)

I drove to PC with the intention of revamping my business clothes wardrobe. I think I did a pretty good job, and would prefer not to admit how much money I spent. I will say I have absolutely no buyers remorse. It felt good to go into store, pick out what I wanted, and just buy it!

I find spending productive alone time rather empowering. My drive back through the canyon that night with a chocolate banana vivanno smootie and some great music playing in the background was just pure happiness.

Then the night took me in a pretty unexpected direction. I went to a birthday party at 8:30 with the intention of staying for an hour, and then going home to get work done. When I finally got home at 2 a.m. that morning I felt even better about life though slightly more exhausted than earlier in the day.

Saturday consisted of early morning homework I had procrastinated. Then 1st row (that's right I said 1st row) tickets to the football game where BYU decimated UNLV. Oh, and I got a free shirt. How cool is that?

Then I ate more sushi than any one girl should ever eat in one sitting. It was delicious!

By this time I was sleep-deprived, full of food, and ready to crash hard. I assumed my weekend fun was over when I headed home with a fuzzy head and heavy eyelids. I promptly passed out after getting home around 6.

And then wouldn't you know it, but the next thing I know I'm hanging up the phone from a conversation I barely remember having. I was out of it asleep at this point so I had to check and make sure I really did get a phone call and that I wasn't just dreaming. It was almost like texting in my sleep all over again! In retrospect, even though I felt like poo when I rolled out of bed and inspected the damage of my early evening nap (crazy crumpled bangs and red lines from the sheets all over my chin and neck), I'm glad I did it. Another fun evening.

Then came a wonderful Sunday with an uplifting church meeting, an impromptu dinner that didn't turn out half bad, a fireside, games, and some completely ridiculous nonsense (which is my very favorite kind).

But don't you love to laugh? I got my fill of it this weekend. It was definitely one of those hey Rachel, your life is really pretty great kind of weekends. Even though I am far away from my family and I have wonderful friends at home, I know some pretty great people out here, too. Next time I'm feeling a little down I will tell myself this.

I love that I've reached the point in my life where a lot of my insecurities are dissipating. I realize that most of them were pretty irrational in the first place. Maybe I'm not the most well liked person around (I'm sure I'm not because sometimes I think I can probably be a complete pain), but I don't need to be that person. Sure, being the outgoing person will never really be my thing, but I certainly shouldn't be afraid of putting myself out there sometimes. Showing up at a party where you don't know very many people can be a really great thing sometimes! Great people are all around us, and I should never shy away from getting out there and getting to know them.

On the flip side, learning to do things on your own is a different kind of wonderful. I really didn't want to go all the way to Park City by myself, but I am sure glad I did. There was something nice about knowing that I was doing something alone because I wanted to--not because I didn't have any other choice. There is a BIG difference between being alone and being lonely, and that is a pretty empowering idea!

I love this song. And I love The Weepies.

Running the Numbers

Hello friends!

Happy happy day! I showed up to work and guess what?

Cancelled!

That's right . . . cancelled for parent-teacher conferences!

I must say Thursday is my least favorite day of the four days I teach, and it was a nice little surprise to get some unexpected free time (well free time to do homework). I am working on a decision analysis for one of my classes, and I have found some rather exciting information regarding the possibility of a short, after Christmas trip for the posh.

Here goes (these costs are for three people):

NYC:

Roundtrip gas: $45/person

Hostel: $20/night/person with breakfast, wi-fi and lockers (in Upper Manhattan)

Broadway shows: approx. $50 w/ student discounts on day of

Orlando:

Roundtrip gas: $38.20/person

Hotel: $13.33/person/night

Combo Universal Studio/Islands of Adventure (WWHP) for two days: $134.99

Think on that please! We will discuss is come Thanksgiving (in about 2 1/2 weeeeeeeks!!!)

I love this song: The Observer by Chris Chavez (it's the first song on the list . . . just hit play)

Wand

A wand (a mascara wand that is) was the start of my troubles today. In the morning I am hardly coherent, and putting on mascara is definitely not the safest thing for me to in that impaired state. However, I must do what must be done. I braved the danger and put the mascara on anyways. Alas, it was fated to be an unsuccessful attempt. I proceeded towards my eyelashes with the brush and then I proceeded a bit too far.

You got it.

I poked the darn thing right into my eye (with no contacts if you please). My eye has not been the same since . . . who knows it may never be.

Ok . . . it will be.

On a bright note though, I did score well on my quiz. 22 out of 24--my best yet.

Oh, and my favorite new winter food:

A cup of Stephen's Milk Chocolate Cocoa with one spoonful of Stephen's Pumpkin Spice

and (here's the kicker so get ready for it)

Thin mints.

You use them as straws! You bit a bit off of one side and then another bit off the opposite side. Then you suck the hot cocoa through the cookie. The cookie gets soft and then you eat it (all at once or it will fall apart and get messy). It is like melted minty chocolaty heaven in your mouth.

It will certainly make your bad day better. I promise!

So will this song:

And hopefully this picture:

Nasty

but it's that just a strange word. Say it a few times . . . go on!

Nasty

Nasty

Nasty

Nasty

It sounds ridiculous now doesn't it? In econ class today my teacher was talking about how if people acted amoral (like econ is supposed to be) it would create nasty individuals and nasty businesses. Then I just started saying the word nasty in my head. After about 4 times, it no longer sounded like a real word.

Like the word fork . . . or bleachers. (I mean who even comes up with this nonsense?)

On another note, I experienced homelessness for about 50 minutes today. I have decided I do not like it one little bit. After coming home from the gym, I decided that it was high time to take the rapidly decomposing pumpkin that had started to leak some unknown substance all over the ground to the garbage. After finishing the deed, I returned to my front door only to find that it was locked. LOCKED! I was wearing only my gym clothes (shorts, t-shirt, tennis shoes) and luckily a jacket I had decided to put on at the last second. No keys, phone or iPod. In fact, the only thing I had apart from my clothes was my gym pass which was of absolutely no use to me.

First I tried the windows. I have been successful in the past at finding a random unlocked window and crawling through (in a skirt no less) (through the smallest window in the house) (into the bathtub). But no such luck for me today. I was locked out for reals.

Then I decided to sit on the steps. Surely someone would be home soon. Or at the very least some friend would come by and take pity on me. Once again no such luck. Then I started getting cold. It is November in Utah after all. So I got up and started walking around. This didn't really help and I just got colder. To make matters worse, I also started to get hungry.

When I started to feel really homeless was when I finally resorted to standing next to our neighbors laundry vent to keep my legs warm. The warm air that smelled like clean laundry felt really good on my legs that had been exposed to the elements for the past 40 minutes.

It was finally time to go to FHE, and upon my return an hour later I was no longer homeless. The door was thankfully unlocked and I could resume my life as a person with a home.

It felt terrible today to be completely cut off from communicating with people and to not even be able to go inside. Even the laundry room and lounge of my apartment complex are kept locked. I cannot even imagine what it must feel like to spend days, weeks or even moths at a time living like this. My brief, fairly lame experience helped remind me why I want to get an MPA degree, and I reflected on all the good I will hopefully be able to do in the world someday. Being locked out of your house, stranded in Salt Lake City or living in a developing country definitely helps develop empathy in a person. Because to some miniscule degree I understand what people are going through, my desire to help them is increased. I think that is a VERY good thing.

I am officially obsessed: